As a disclaimer, one of my close friends who also had BiPolar I lost his battle earlier this year. He overdosed on a cocktail of pain meds, benzos, and alcohol. Like you, he expressed grave concerns over the side effect of his BP medications and was fearful of continuing to take pain medicine.
My p-doc would have kept me on klonopin if I wanted to continue being on it- based on my experiences- benzos can wreck havoc if you're not careful. I was very fortunate to have a primary care doctor who urged me to talk to my p-doc about getting off benzos in a safe way.
There's a few things going on- one you need to be honest with your husband if you're taking pain medication.
Seraquel does have some vicious side effects- if you have been on it over a certain amount of time & haven't seen improvement- I would get a 2nd opinion from a psychiatrist to find a medicine that may be a better fit for you, or work with your current doctor. Does your current know that you have access to pain medicine?
I'd also have a conversation about the possibility of weaning off benzos- at some point, they do stop working & it's no longer beneficial to be on them.
I am a bit scared for you- it doesn't sound like you're in a good situation with your treatments.
For me, it took a lot of medication adjustments and discontinuations (Lamitcal, Zyprexa, Depakote, trazedone) until I found a good mix. With my medicine now, the side effects are unfortunate but the benefits of taking the medicine far outweighs the negative side effects.
Keep us posted- and please do not use alcohol with benzos in your system.