They really did divide the meds. The psychiatrist actually laughed at the resident for doing that. So I have dropped a lot of Seroquel fast. I'm tolerating it fine though so he's adjusting the dose a little higher tonight to make the pills make sense and I'm starting a little clozaril tonight. And some Ambien. It will only work a few days but he seems to be thinking we're going to do this really fast. It depends on my response.

For now just having trouble with migraines. I stupidly thought I hadn't reacted to a food in a long time and ate something the other day that is a trigger. So now I'm fighting with that. But it's better now than it was.

Gonna go take a nap if I'm lucky. Meaning lay on my bed and stare or try to read. I'll be nice and relaxed for relaxation group.

Wildflowerchild, I got a smile from your sleeping on the dayroom couches. We're allowed to sleep I think but they really encourage group particpation on this unit. I'm sensitive about it because my first admission this nurse who I am SO GLAD isn't here any longer b/c she was MEAN gave me my Seroquel at 7:00 when I asked for a PRN. Back then Seroquel put me to sleep and I had been taught that I was to take it and get ready for bed immediately so I maximized the sedation. So I did that. 8 pM group came along and she forced me to wake up, come to group, and then tried to force me to explain why I was crying. Then she pursued me to my room and insisted on knowing why I was crying and lectured me on participation. The next day I told the dr who said "well, you are supposed to go to group". I pointed out that if I am taught to take Seroquel and go to bed and am given it at 7 and not told I can't go to bed at that time then I'm not being given a choice. He agreed, the nurse got in trouble, and then she wasn't just mean, she had a grudge. Which she held through the next 2 admissions. So I have trouble "not behaving" even when I know it's ok and that there is no longer a late group.

Anyway, I'll probably sign on later. I'm trying to not use too much time on here so I'm not checking a lot of posts but I need you guys so I'm still signing in when I'm alone. Not many people here right now and most people don't stay in the dayroom a lot which is very unusual but gives me privacy to get on here without anyone knowing what I'm doing. If I disappear we've gotten someone who tries to read over my shoulder . (It happened before).