thanks so much for your hugs...i really need it. I' m just alone everyday at home coz i fear going outside before i thought it's just like one of my blues that i just want to be a home buddy, coz everytime i'm down i just kept myself alone in the room, but then it get worse now, i'm in a social withdrawal situation now, i just open up here in the PC. I avoid calls, i push away my friends away, actually it's true it's easy to open up to people who you don't know and doesn't know you as well. but somehow through here i begin to open up with my friends thru chat and email then they somehow knew what's happening to me. I wish i can pull out of this. I thought i can get better as days passed but now im scared of the days passing by wasted. I want to have my life back. I want to learn how to dream again, enjoy the things i used to enjoy, get back the interest on things, i can see only grays right now. wish me luck. i really appraciate ur care though it's only here, it helps me