My goes out to you therebelheart

Most of the times I don't believe our parents realize the affect they've had on their children's lives, who are now adults. Not only that, I don't believe most parents meant their children harm on purpose either.

In my situation, me and my siblings felt like we were more of a burden (and tolerated) to our parents than anything else. We were neither loved or nurtured properly, and for that matter we weren't hated either. We got caught up in the middle somewhere leaving us practically invisible. Our few requirements to maintain good standing with our parents was to not give them any trouble, and keep the house clean. That way we would be less of a burden, and less obvious. We went through great lengths to keep ourselves concealed and out of our parents view. One parent carried out severe discipline to make sure there was no repeat of the same missteps.. It worked, but our psyche's suffered.

Others have made suggestions to you, so I will just say the following to you if you are in a situation where you have no feasible out at this time. If it is at all possible therebelheart, find measures of safe escape right where you are. I have no idea what that would mean for you, but for me it is writing, and knitting with classical music playing in the background. These things do help me get through some tough moments. I hope you are able to discover your escape routes.