I'm an RN & get like this a lot. I usually can suppress it at work & in particular with patient & co workers because I know in my heart it's really all my problem & unfair on them. Mostly my family & partner suffer because I've used up all my capacity to be civil at work & they cop it massively. Sometimes I can't control myself & I have actually swore at a brand new intern & told them if they didn't know what they were doing they better ****ing get someone who does, then I threw a pillow across the room in front of 2 patients in beds. I must have appeared fairly unstable at the time though because both patients & my co worker tried to console me afterwards when I began crying. This was all over me feeling like I was the one with the most experience in the room (I only had one other nurse with me at the time & she was a graduate, mind you I've only got a few years experience.) I felt unsure of what I needed to do, I was worried the patients condition would deteriorate & they hadn't been through the appropriate triage procedure & should never have been on the ward he was. I felt the responsibility being put on me when I was not capable & had tried but was not receiving help in a reasonable timeframe. It felt really bad to humiliate myself the way I had, mainly because the patients saw the whole thing & I was in fact overreacting to a not very critical situation. I didn't realise this until afterwards though. I remember being so overwhelmed I told my co worker who I should have been educating that I was over it all & over life & I didn't care anymore.

Your no monster because I feel like this, (I would describe it as irritability,) & I feel like it most days.