Hi M Blau, have you tried one of the hotlines listed in the forum? They can help get you through a rough spot or lead you to the help you need. Getting help for yourself will be the best thing you can do for your nine year old.

Remember the people on the hotlines are just that... People. If one isn't helpful try calling again to talk to another.

I don't like talking on the phone and therefore I don't like the hotlines, but last time I felt I was in crisis I tried Crisis Chat at CrisisChat - Home and found that very helpful. Someone there did the online message with me for quite a while and helped me get out of the house and helped me get through a really bad weekend.