I don't think that its I'm not afraid of dying, but it's come to the point that I feel like most of the time, I would be okay if I died. Like, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be in my life anyway, so maybe it wouldn't matter anyway. I don't know what I feel and I don't have anyone that I can talk to about it. The people that I tried to talk to about it, they've told me that I'm depressed or that I need medication and none of that is true. That made me feel like I'm crazy and I'm not crazy. I don't need anyone else to tell me those things and besides therapy isn't even an option for me right now because I can't afford it.

I don't know what I'm saying or why I'm even writing about it here, I think I just wanted someone to listen.