That's a tough question for me to answer. You mention not wanting to give up the 'work social scene', yet it is causing distress. Some managers frown upon too much socialization outside of the workplace and it eventually reflects later on during times of reviews and promotions. I understand the feeling of being a part of a circle of friends, yet work is work and outside the office is outside the office and less can be more.
"What others think of me, is none of my business."-Catherine the Great. She stated that in her memoirs because it was difficult for her as a young woman being brought into Russia from Germany to marry the Czar. She wasn't accepted in all social circles yet she went onto to bring positive social changes, such as in education, to her new country.

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