Valentina, I am sorry if I was a little terse in my response. Believe me, I have heard many challenge my ideas and expectations. I can't say more than I am truly being honest....I love my wife and family....and I know that I AM GAY. Definitions, labels, standards, etc. aside....that is who I am.

What I put to you and the others....what solution do,I have to my anxiety? I have seen professionals, I take medication....I am having therapy. My anxiety exists...and the medication has reduced it in the area of my sexuality....providing much clarity in that area. No other aspects of my life have been affected by the treatment.

But here is the thing....if I keep on the meds....it will continue to kill my libido and ability to orgasm. It kills any desire to be intimate. THE sexual attraction I have for my wife is artificially removed...and I then the only thing that is left is my love. If I stop the meds and don't come,out....my anxiety will return and will continue to eat away at my mental abilities. My therapist agrees that I have been able to handle it for 30 years, but physically my mind can no longer take it.

So I'm not coming out to hurt anyone, I know that my wife and family might not accept this. Believe me I would like love and support....and I'm not just going to give up on myself and my family. However, if my wife cannot handle it, I am not going to force her into anything. If that means she wants to leave...well that it an outcome I might have to deal,with. Not out of hate...but out of love.

I know that I,am not coming out to seek relationships with men...I am past that in my life. So what do I gain from coming out to my family? Freedom. Freeing my mind, turning the energy I've used to hide all my life into improving my life. I'm not talking about yelling to the world "I'm gay!", but if my family knows and supports me....well I then have the freedom to acknowledge my sexuality when the circumstances put me in a situation where otherwise my anxiety would cripple me.