I will respond to everyone else (thank you for your responses!) but I just need to clarify something. I didn't go into detail about the ideation. It was just one sentence. A long time ago I was feeling off and I told my friend (the same friend who got mad at me for speaking up) that I "did not want to be here”, meaning that I did not want to exist. I was very upset at the time and her response was, "you should come over to my house because we can have a night adventure. I've never had an adventure at night before lol!”. That upset me a lot so I stopped talking.

So yesterday I was telling my other friend (the one who fixed his Wii remote pad) about the argument I had with her and I just mentioned that she wasn't even there for me when I was feeling very depressed and a bit suicidal. He specifically asked me, "can you, uh, please elaborate on the suicidal feelings you were having?" and I just said, "There's nothing much to elaborate on. I just didn't feel like existing”. I did not tell him anything in detail and he asked. I am sorry, but this comment just made me a bit upset because I always try to stick to myself so when I finally do reach out it's because I'm suffering a lot and I've been holding things in for months. I have had friends tell me about their suicidal feelings and anxiety and depression and the one time I mention mine I get no feedback...That was literally the first time I ever told anyone about those feelings and not even in detail. My therapist doesn't even know the detail of those feelings.

So I just wanted to clarify because I don't want to sound like a person who always goes to their friends when they have issues. I listen all the time and I try to help. I know I can't set standards for others but if I set aside so much of my time to help you and I get nothing in return, and I still have to struggle alone, then that friendship isn't balanced.

You say that they mustn't or they're not obliged to help me and I just don't like viewing things like that. It's very unfair that friends and people always come to me when they're upset and tell me things in detail but I can't get that from them. Like I'm only meant to listen to others' problems and tell them what they want to hear.

I am sorry, but this comment just made me feel invalidated and sad...But thank you for commenting at least. I know your intentions weren't bad and I appreciate it.