View Single Post
Anonymous37893
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Feb 06, 2016 at 03:58 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
You cannot set standards for other people.

Here's the thing: let's say you help someone carry a 50 pound bag up their hill. That's great! But that does not mean that they must or will help you carry your 50 pound bag up your hill. They might not feel able or willing to do that, and the fact that you did it for them does not compel them to do it for you.

Your friends are the way that they are. You do have the option to look for different friends--or just accept that there are limits to what they can do, or are willing to do, for you.

You can say "I feel hurt that I helped carry your bag but you are not willing to help carry mine." Friends might change in response to that, or they might not. Probably not.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Honestly, it is asking a lot of friends to expect them to hear in detail about suicidal ideation. I believe that most people feel ill-equipped to help in that situation. They don't know what to do or say. This is why they shy away.

With regard to your supervisor, a comment like that would make me feel that I had done something wrong as well. Sometimes we feel hurt because, well, what people said to us was unreasonable and hurtful!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Great response! That happens to be sad but true-

@The O.P, remember, ignore them when they ignore you. Say that you've been to busy to respond to them when they do it to you. And then respond to their long ranty emails with the same one sentence reply. It sounds mean, but clearly talking to them doesn't work.

Maybe treating them like crap back might help them to realize that they might loose you as a friend if they continue to do so. Or they'll just stop using you as their free therapist. Action speaks louder than words. You need to let these friends know that you are NOT a doormat and that if they're not going treat you with respect, then they sure don't deserve yours!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
starryprince
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, starryprince