It's after 3 p.m. and I've been in bed all day here at my friens's apartment . . . just apathetically depressed. He's been snacking on junk. I didn't make him breakfast or lunch. I will make a decent supper for us later. So I've not been doing a great job as his caretaker. Soon I will get him showered, pick up the apartment, make supper and, then, go to the laundromat, as he has a backlog of laundry for me to catch up on. He will continue watching TV - about all he does throughout the day.

In a good nursing home, he might actually have a better life.

Nursing homes for low income people in this area are pretty squalid places. (I know because I've worked in them.) I checked the VA home they are proposing on the Internet, and it does look very nice. But those on-line photos can be misleading.

So - I'm not sure that he wouldn't be better off going to that place near his family. They would have more activities for him. He might not even miss me all that much. Maybe, it's just me who would do the missing and feel all alone. I don't want to hold on to him just to meet my needs for having somebody.

So I'm back to what I started this thread about: feeling listless and apathetic. I have little interest in making any effort to do anything. But that will blow over, just to return. I'll be cycling through in and out of apathy. Maybe I should ask him to plan on us going out to lunch or dinner tomorrow, so we both get out of the ruts we're in. We are kind of bringing each other down.