Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
That is very honest, and very interesting. Its like he was cultivating evil in you, instead of helping you find the good and the strength within yourself. But it was a false power, like a deal with the devil. Wow. Thats like an attack on your personal moral values, apart from anything physical or sexual. Messing with your head.  |
I'm sorry if this (below) vvvvv. Turned out preachy.
I didn't mean it that way. I just started writing and the words fell out... Sorry, wasn't meaning it offensive, unaluna. ❤️
-----
I agree. I did compromise my moral values when I was with him. I felt powerful, I felt he raised my esteem, I felt special, I felt alive. I was a depressed/prev abused person - given all these exciting, new feelings. Just imagine- what I wouldn't do to continue feeling those feelings. My personal/moral boundary was abandoned. He made it feel like that was ok.
It's like a drug. It's like an addiction. At least, that's how it felt to me.
That made the fall so much harder when he suddenly changed...and I asked him why. He said he would let me know if he ever wanted to "be" with me again. In the meantime, he was still collecting insurance money by trying to still treat me as a patient.
"Why did our sexual/personal relationship stop?" He said he felt sorry for me like he felt sorry for
street people. He told the medical board I was a known prostitute. He scolded me saying, "You told me you could handle this.."....making it my fault...which made my fall that much harder. It's a wonder I didn't crack.---------
I'm saying all this because -maybe I have an understanding of winenot's situation. Maybe I'm all wrong:
it's difficult to leave the situation while you are in it...you almost need someone ethical to reach in and pull you out... Or, if the PerpDoc ends the relationship...there you are..alone with no one to talk to who understands these kinds of relationships. You don't know who to trust. You become afraid someone else-a professional, maybe- will take the matter out of your hands and report PerpDoc.
Maybe you feel that PerpDoc is a good man who just made a mistake. You don't want him to lose his job, his license, his family. You don't want him to go to prison.
Meanwhile, There's all of your business out for everyone to see. It's tough to explain to family, the police and the licensing board. You are a mental health patient- will others find your situation credible? Who is going to believe you?
You think about these things. You want control over all that. Many do not tell.