Quote:
Originally Posted by precaryous
I agree. I did compromise my moral values when I was with him. I felt powerful, I felt he raised my esteem, I felt special, I felt alive. I was a depressed/prev abused person - given all these exciting, new feelings. Just imagine- what I wouldn't do to continue feeling those feelings. My personal/moral boundary was abandoned. He made it feel like that was ok.
It's like a drug. It's like an addiction. At least, that's how it felt to me.
That made the fall so much harder when he suddenly changed...and I asked him why. He said he would let me know if he ever wanted to "be" with me again. In the meantime, he was still collecting insurance money by trying to still treat me as a patient.
"Why did our sexual/personal relationship stop?" He said he felt sorry for me like he felt sorry for street people. He told the medical board I was a known prostitute. He scolded me saying, "You told me you could handle this.."....making it my fault...which made my fall that much harder. It's a wonder I didn't crack.---------
I'm saying all this because -maybe I have an understanding of winenot's situation. Maybe I'm all wrong:
it's difficult to leave the situation while you are in it...you almost need someone ethical to reach in and pull you out... Or, if the PerpDoc ends the relationship...there you are..alone with no one to talk to who understands these kinds of relationships. You don't know who to trust. You become afraid someone else-a professional, maybe- will take the matter out of your hands and report PerpDoc.
Maybe you feel that PerpDoc is a good man who just made a mistake. You don't want him to lose his job, his license, his family. You don't want him to go to prison.
Meanwhile, There's all of your business out for everyone to see. It's tough to explain to family, the police and the licensing board. You are a mental health patient- will others find your situation credible? Who is going to believe you?
You think about these things. You want control over all that. Many do not tell.
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I'm sorry you had to go through all of that...it does sound awful. And because it's awful is exactly why I wouldn't report him. I've been seeing him for so long that I feel pretty comfortable sharing stuff like this (sexual-related) with him, so maybe all of this so far has just been a "friendly" exchange. Of course it's ****ed up that I have to pay him, but so far I don't feel that he's really said much this time around disrespectful. He hasn't forced me to do anything, it's all been of my own accord.
But even if our relationship did progress, I don't think I could report him. It sounds like a lot of work, and worry, like you stated above. Money. Time. Honestly I don't care enough about him that much to make my life that much more inconvenient. Like yeah, this could maybe end up hurting me again somehow, but I'll get through it like I do with anything else in life. It's really the bottom line, therapist or not, people are going to be ****** and do ****** things. They'll hurt you. We just have to change how we deal with it. I went back to him because I wanted to.
Maybe I'm completely wrong and just trapped in it, and just can't see. It could be a possibility, and I'm not too narrow-minded to admit it. I think he's just pushing things as far as he can get away with, knowing full well we will never be together. This might sound ridiculous, but all he was doing was just looking at pictures. I don't know FOR SURE if this is even worth mentioning. It seems like such a small incident than what happened to precaryous. I don't think it will go any farther. I'd be downright shocked, floored, on the ground, if it did.