I only wonder if the imagination part of my brain is making up stories spontaneously and a 2nd part of my brain following along, like a interactive theater? Or is what I experience real? I mean, normal people say what I think is not real.... I never thought I made up the bipolar, but some of the things I think or do - I question later. But I think every single human only believes what they believe because either someone else said it, or they put stock in it.

But really, what is truth?

I don't believe anyone is exactly right. No one can give me a priest, or a doctor, a sexy man, or a scientist that can tell me something about what I should think and have me trust them anymore. I decide what I believe.

I only trust in 2 people. My husband, and my therapist - and if either of those people tell me I am wrong about anything, I find that suspicious. But I also don't trust myself. I ask myself questions constantly - about everything I think or feel. "What is love" "Did I use the right inflection when I pretended interest" "Did I say thank you in a way that seemed genuine?" "Is there really someone on the other end of this psychic connection?, "Is this all in my head?" "Did I really believe in spirits yesterday?", "Am I wrong to not believe in spirits today?", "Am I in the same dimension as yesterday, or in a parallel one?", "Who am I - is there a who?", "How do I feel, what are feelings?".

Deep self doubt is inflicted upon us by the world, and by ourselves. My Goodness- we are labelled with the title 'Mentally Ill'! That very fact pushes other people to believe they have a right to not trust us and that their opinion must be the correct one. Not all, but anyone with an agenda.

I am fascinated by the fact that some people believe they are right about an infinite thought.

I have wondered if what I am feeling is real. I have wondered,"Is anything real"?

Maybe we are the lucky ones. Do we seek limitless thought? Does our soul help us with its whispering, "Finite thinking is wrong - there IS more".