I guess I just never thought it would ever have come to even this. I've been obsessed with the dude for like three years, and I'm sure he knows it. I'm just not sure how much I want it, now that I'm presented with a tiny slice. It's tempting, because I love dangerous things, but I think there is a part of me that is scared. This man, old enough to be my father (or even grandfather) all of a sudden coming THAT close to me. I don't know. It does feel weird, and I didn't think it would. But I'm still not entirely grossed out, either.

I don't know. I guess it goes to show how fantasy is something you that you can cling to so hard, and when presented with reality, it can get quite disappointing. Maybe it's better just left alone. Because, like...once you cross that invisible line, you can't really uncross it. Everything becomes blurry.