I know the feeling of being "less than human" very well.

I guess you have to ask yourself some difficult questions. It does not sound like you want to end up alone. However, your fear of relationships is based on fears that, from what you have told us, are not based on prior bad relationships. Rather, your behavior is based on a belief of what happens when relationships end. You need actual experiences to confirm if your feelings are really true, partially true or not true at all.

Sometimes the end of a relationship is a good thing. When it's not working out, it's good to end it for the sake of BOTH people involved. Trying relationships is good because that's how you find out what you want and what you don't want; what you like and what you don't like; what you can tolerate and what you can't tolerate and where you need to improve yourself so that you are a suitable partner. In short, relationships are a lot of work. Learning to trust is not easy for some people. But, you can discuss your issues with a T, and/or close friends and even your potential romantic partners so that they know where you're coming from. Let them know in advance that if it's not working out to please let you know gently.

Dating someone who has a lot of patience is a good start. Of course, someone who wants to rush into sex is not the type of person that you're looking to meet. Delaying dating only makes things harder in the long run. So my advice is this: make friends - as many as you can, talk to them and see who they recommend for dating and who they do not recommend for dating and take it from there. Naturally, you only date those folks who are on the "recommended" list. And, because you have friends, you have an emotional support group to turn to when needed. You can do it!