When I'm manic I feel full of energy, I sleep for maybe 3 hours per night but wake up feeling well rested (even though I'm really not). I'll take up several projects at once and often only complete one or two of them -- the others will remain half finished and then be abandoned.
Back when I was untreated and severely manic a lot of people that I came across definitely suspected that I was using meth / cocaine / stimulants -- I would speak very rapidly """".("pressured speech" as its called) and quickly switch between topics. basically I would ramble but think that I was speaking coherently. Occasionally, for some reason, I would also speak in a fake heavy southern accent (don't ask me why).
I've also had auditory and some visual hallucinations during mania, but not everyone gets this. I've also become highly delusional in the past (thinking i was being stalked by government agents, believing I was being gang stalked on the streets, etc.)?
I don't suffer as severely from depression as some others do, but the depressive episodes last longer than the manic episodes (4-6 months usually) and are marked by alcohol abuse, self-loathing, lethargy and suicidal ideation.
As far as relationships go, I've definitely alienated a lot of friends with my bizarre and erratic behavior. For a while I was on really bad terms with my family with them threatening to kick me out of the house and cut off all financial support, though now we're back on good terms.
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--Keegan
BP1
Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery)
900mg Lithium
15mg Temazepam PRN
"Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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