I am waiting for someone else to hold me, to tell me how they feel so I can remember how I feel, for someone to say they will be there with me forever. I am actually happy when I am by myself, I like myself. It is just fitting in to the world that is so puzzling - I feel like that Greek myth where I am continuously pushing a boulder up a hill, and it honestly feels like it is not going to get easier. Maybe I should concentrate on something different while I am participating in life.