Hi, again, since you shared some more personal informations, I'd like to respond to that. I might not be following everything precisely, but I'll try my best to provide some ideas to think on.

So the guilty feelings of yours and the money you stole, or the abuse you put upon someone. If you think you've done everything you can to remedy that by now, wouldn't you be feeling a little less guilty? The last of your post mention the pay back plan, I myself kinda owe some to my parents, I'm just ignoring it, they haven't been bugging me on that. You can't pay, what you can't pay at the moment, you have your own life to take care first like paying rent and for food. Plus the fact that you're asking for help here in this spiritual support forum, I get the feeling that you're still searching answers everywhere, I'd say you have plenty of time to work through the spiritual side in your future, if you already have a strong religious background, then you can be more specific, in that way, you'll get more direct human contact, I'm guessing that would be more helpful in your situation.

Taking back control and realize that your fate is in your hand.

I think that the control part is largely resides in your mind, instead of searching for wide array of informations that you think might help, are you trying to narrow things down as well? You can dissect many things into pieces and study all of them, it just gets more complicated, this doesn't mean you get the helpful understanding of the whole by this way. Anyone can see you're trying hard to take the next step, some truth, in my case, I make my own truth, I force it out of what I see for a particular situation/difficulties.

I don't wanna say this but anything and anyone could fail you if you don't believe what you see or what you're doing. You open up pretty well online as far as I can tell, 'that you too right? Who posts so many on another site? I kinda googled your username, maybe I'm mistaken. I see you as a full of great possibilities, it's starting to flourish at a such young age. The world is not fair to you, or anyone else anyways, some would think you've been doing ton of work that will help you step up, stand up for yourself already.

Well, let's go with boredom first. It's been a long while since I had that. Just like depression, I don't think I dealt with that while it was affecting my life, in my youth. It is a bad place for anyone I suppose, why can I be that enthusiastic, passionate and like creative kids like others? How are others doing in their lives, I don't see them anywhere 'cos I have no friends. These were like my youth I guess. Social sites, I have no idea what's going on there, I saw the movie though. The internet/Your computer. The information gathering/exchanging tool. You as a user of the machine has the control to get the best use of it, so a little time out and the failure of not being able to stay away aren't that important. I myself want to improve upon what I get out of this and in this day and age, I need to work more to use this as a greatest tool around that bestowed upon me by some genius out there, before I start using my laptop, I can think on it if I wanted to like who is the dell founder? How could he/she have managed to make the company so big, just remember, older generation survived just fine without computers, we humans are always the ones that drives the technologies.

I guess I should stop my nonsense now. Restlessness. Do I get that? I wonder. I got off at this busy train station the other day, as soon as I stepped off, I paused my stride there. For quite long time till the course was clear, observing. I do this all the time, like when I almost bump into someone, I just stop and let the other person decide which way they go. I stand my own ground, that simple. Things expand and contract. I just like to see things from many angles, two usually does it. What's left is up to me to decide.

(I don't wanna post anything irresponsible but I believe you can take my poor writing just fine. Do you sleep okay? It affects your cognition or so I learned yesterday through some website! Oh, that gets me some sleep tonight! )