Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
I have started hanging out with a group of coworkers. Basically one of them who was my friend from before started inviting me and including me in their activities. I would still usually feel like they are just including me to be nice and not because they really like me, but I just went with it. Well now I am starting to realize that this one girl who is part of the group is starting to display some hostility towards me. It's weird, because she will be nice to me sometimes, but when they are chatting together at work and I go over and say something, she will often look at me with this annoyed look and say "what?" I have also noticed that she will often talk to everyone and ignore me. I have been nothing but nice to her, so my guess is that her reason for disliking me is thinking I am dumb or finding my personality annoying. It sucks, because I actually like her and have recently become kind of infatuated with her. And pretty much everyone at work likes her too.
So what is the best thing to do in this sort of situation? I feel really humiliated when I try to be friendly and she treats me like that. But at the same time, I don't want to go back to being a loner and avoiding the work social scene. And if I confront her about what she's doing, I feel like it can only end badly for me, since she is more well-liked than me and it is likely others feel the same way towards me as she does but aren't showing it. What do I do?
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I can relate to this and the work environment. To be honest I find the group of women I work with to be pretty competitive and like to bully. My friend who used to have my job has warned me about this group of women saying "they've all been there a lot longer and will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat". A girl that works there also told me that many women quit because of the anxiety and gossip. However this one girl picks on me because my bf's mom (who I don't get along with) is her friend and when I started there she would msg this girl on fb and just bash me. So now this girl has this awful perspective of me that is all wrong. I've tried to do all I can to befriend her. Even writing her a letter about her hostility towards me and letting her know I'm not there to make enemies and I just want to get along. And guess who's idea the letter was? My bf's moms. She throws me under the bus and acts like she cares once she's ruined me. On a thread I think on this site, a man compared it to prisons. In a mans prison, they show hostility by fighting. In a women's, they do it with gossip. That's just women's nature I've come to find. But in your case, maybe this woman is jealous that everyone else likes you and perhaps she's worried they'll like you more than her? I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. Just don't think bad about your own personality or think you're annoying or dumb. I'm sure you're probably a really great person and this girl is threatened. And if she gives you a hard time just walk away or simply ask her what's wrong. She probably doesn't even have an answer! Good luck and don't blame yourself! It's the nature of a job surrounded by hormones and unfortunately it's pretty common.
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