Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie
That is what the psychologist said at my first appointment. Sure I guess physically it does not pose any danger, 1 to 3 times a week won't cause any damage. So I can stop being upset about it and if it feels good then I can do it. However, it is my eating disorder thoughts that hurt me more:
Constantly checking myself in the mirror to see any bulding on my waist.
Thinking I have nothing else to offer in talent, intellect, worthiness and if I look fat then I am nothing.
Fretting over everything I eat.
Feeling guilty for eating
Hating my aging body.
I rather be dead than flabby looking.
Now I should know better but these thoughts seem to be so ingrained that I just can't stop them.
All this coupled with my BPD & PTSD is making my exsistance miserable. I need some relief from myself soon.
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The thing about bulimia is that it can cause sudden death no matter how many times or how often you purge. I knew a 17yo that had a heart attack in her sleep. Another who's esophagus ruptured and bleed out. It's like getting your throat sliced open. Maybe it won't stop me from purging but I fear these things all the time. It IS a big deal. I would see a diff pdoc/therapist because even I know how serious it is and if anyone undermined that then I would be quite put off! Just like how BP or any other MI is a big deal. My bf told me once that I could control my MI and that I make it out to be bigger than it is. I have a med list I depend on to handle each day and that is serious to me. I almost dumped his *** right in the spot!
Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN
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