There's nothing more upsetting than when you think you know someone and then BAM one day they turn out to be someone else. Perhaps someone ugly even. It can definitely hold you back from future relationships. For example, up until about a few months ago I thought I knew my bf on every level. He's definitely seen every side of me and my personal struggles with MI and I THOUGHT he was a supportive, understanding person. Until he got sick for a few days and was hospitalized. I tried to be there for him but went home to sleep. This made him so mad he lashed out and said the most hurtful things to me. He attacked me personally and I was shocked! And then a month ago he came out and said he didn't believe in MI and thinks everyone can control their emotions. I was completely blindsided and felt plain stupid after I went through a major depression and an IP stay. At the time he was there for me and never once spoke bad about it. And when he came out and completely belittled me and my illnesses I was confused, hurt, felt cheated and even embarrassed. I had to take my own time and evaluate this relationship and think if I should even be with this "new" person. Even today I sometimes wonder why I still stay with him. But we don't ever bring it up. I chalked it up to ignorance and accepted that he just plain doesn't understand. And sure it's made me think about everyone else around me. Are their thoughts like his towards me? Do they find me weak too? It effects everything!

Are you seeing a therapist about these issues. Perhaps you have some leftover resentment holding you back from reaching out to others. And in reality, not ALL people are like this. But it still does effect how we see the world.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

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