My mom broke down completely in tears last night because she went to her boyfriend's daughter's new house, which was really cheap and in her eyes, depressing and ugly, and he complimented his daughter on FINALLY living within her means. This apparently really upset my mom, on top of the fact that my sister plans to move away in the next few months.

She literally has not grown up. She moved into a college apartment with some roommates she didn't like for a brief time in her 20s, but my grandparents let her stay at home for as long as she wanted, and she only REALLY left when she met my dad and quickly married him, who spent about the next 20 years destroying her self esteem even further.

She always complains about how she always wanted to be a homemaker and never wanted to have to support herself, when suddenly she was divorced and now HAS to get a good job and support herself, and good paying jobs are hard to find. She points out that her sister is still married and so SHE doesn't have to worry about money troubles as much, although she still teaches, despite being married.

I had her listen to some self-esteem affirmations last night, but she told me she fell asleep within the first few sentences. Honestly, I don't want it to be my job to coach her into improving her self-esteem, but her life is REALLY gonna go down the toilet if she doesn't change her negative victim attitude soon. I'm afraid that if I left her, along with my sister, she'd go off the deep end and it would be my fault.

But I know, it's not my fault. I'm not the parent. I need to get away from her so that I can have more healthy surroundings, but it's hard when you don't have a job yet.

Granted, she's trying to learn, *sometimes*. She said last night, after some sobbing, that she didn't want us to feel obligated to stay with her, and that we can go if we want. She just makes it abundantly clear that she'll self-destruct when people "abandon" her. She makes it all about herself. The more I write about it, the angrier and more disgusted I get about how screwed up she is. I'm trying to have sympathy and understanding, though.

I'll do my best not to end up like her. I'll get a job, get an apartment, support myself, DO things that scare me, like the above I just mentioned, so that I never become dependent, fearful and victimized later on in life.

I'm wondering, though, if it would be a good idea to make her get therapy.