the issue was about calling.. so calling now is out of the question. i told him i would never call him and he asked if i meant ever... and i think i do. It's not safe anymore.

i am beyond feeling rejected now.

i can't turn to him when the issue *is* him.

i needed to be able to turn to him to prevent me from turning to other sources of comfort. Now what am i to do? There is nowhere else to turn except back to what i had beenworking to get out of..

this is exactly why i was leary of trusting him.