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Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
I'm afraid that if I left her, along with my sister, she'd go off the deep end and it would be my fault.
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I understand
feeling as if it were your fault if this happened...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
But I know, it's not my fault. I'm not the parent. I need to get away from her so that I can have more healthy surroundings, but it's hard when you don't have a job yet.
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Yes, but you can do it.
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Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
Granted, she's trying to learn, *sometimes*.
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Perhaps. Perhaps it is simply psychological ploys.
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Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
She said last night, after some sobbing, that she didn't want us to feel obligated to stay with her, and that we can go if we want. She just makes it abundantly clear that she'll self-destruct when people "abandon" her. She makes it all about herself.
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Kind of what I meant above.
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Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
The more I write about it, the angrier and more disgusted I get about how screwed up she is. I'm trying to have sympathy and understanding, though.
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My definition of co-dependency is doing something for someone else and then resenting them for it. Sympathy and understanding is superb, and I admire you for trying to cultivate those qualities, particularly when you are in the middle of it. Understanding that she has issues is one thing though, making them your own is another.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
I'll do my best not to end up like her. I'll get a job, get an apartment, support myself, DO things that scare me, like the above I just mentioned, so that I never become dependent, fearful and victimized later on in life.
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Way to end the cycle! Seriously, it is a great plan and I believe you can do it. Understanding the problem and making a decision is more than half the battle.
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Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean
I'm wondering, though, if it would be a good idea to make her get therapy.
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First, you cannot make anyone do anything. Second, it is just trading one way of being responsible for her and her feelings for another. But it is a tough position and I don't envy you the journey - but I do think it'll be worth it.