It sort of comes from experience and advice. I have a good friend who has BPD and suffers from all sorts of addictions. He always warns me that it will never go away and to be vigilant against thinking we have it beat. In many ways, my diagnosis is a blessing because it sort of gives me an "excuse" for my past behavior. So now I'm aware of what I need to do. He and I lean on each other for support.

I used to be a jerk and a friend - my running buddies loved me for my antics but my family wasn't impressed. I got lucky because my wife forced me last year to get an analysis of my condition.....and voila! BP2! Her concern came from my bouts of anger and my drinking.

I just dove headlong into it and quit everything, including my friends. They don't understand and never will. Most of them think I just need to "chill out" or "drink a few beers" to manage it. I could down a bottle of wine in 30 minutes. I passed out in my driveway (on the asphalt) at 4AM about 5 years ago.....at age 45. I jumped off a bar and sliced my shin open.

It was all getting me nowhere but I didn't realize it at the time. That's the curse of BP, yes? I would think "well, this is who I am" and just went on with my life. I was successful, I provided well for my family, and never did anything super-caustic like being unfaithful. But I was self destructive, angry, paranoid, and miserable to be around when I was agitated (which was often). To a degree, it was who I was! But I could take some corrective action to address some of the negative behaviors that made me such a jerk.