greenpunkergirl, (((((hugs)))))

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he handed me the first part of what appears to be a very clean cut no loss divorce. I thought I was happy about this. I don't want to be his wife, but I am upset. I don't understand how this happened, I don't understand why no one tells me about the paper work, I just have to show up and bam here it is? What the hell happened to treating someone as you would want to be treated. I'm not really all that angry at him, I just want to understand his train of thought.

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What is a "no loss" divorce?

In my state you don't need an attorney to serve the papers, you can have the attorney prepare the papers and hand them to your spouse yourself. Sounds like that is what he did. Now I believe your lawyer must file an official response to the papers within a certain time frame. If you don't already have a lawyer, please get one immediately!

It sounds like your husband is eager to get this show on the road and so he served the papers. Although you may have been content to do nothing for a while, it sounds like he was not and wanted to push forward with the divorce. This is common--the two spouses aren't always in synch on the timing. It would have been nice to give you a warning before handing you the papers, but oh, well, divorcing people don't always do the nice thing.

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I also don't know why my bf was bugging me about said divorce, considering he lived with me for a period of time, and knows that the marriage is over.

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Perhaps he likes you so much he is now thinking of getting quite serious with you or making more of a commitment and wants to make sure you really are "free" to be in a committed relationship. I think it is not uncommon when a relationship gets more serious to spur people to move on with their divorces. My sister was separated for 8 years and didn't get divorced until she became seriously involved with another guy (eventually ended up marrying him). I wouldn't be too hard on your bf--he's probably just feeling insecure about your legal unavailability.

Hang in there. Let your lawyer respond to the papers.