I would discuss the above. I think your insecurity won't let you get what you want so you need to work on the insecurity and not need reassurance from others so much. Warmth and connection is how we feel, not necessarily about what the other person is doing (have you ever looked at a couple and wonder what they see in each other? :-) Trying to get a certain behavior from another person is a lost cause, we can only decide our how behavior.