Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003
My last T was more of a blank slate T, and it didn't work out well for me. In the 5 years I was in therapy, my overall image of her is just sitting in the chair, waiting for me to talk, silent. I was reading over old journal entries the other day, and I realized that she talked much more than the image in my head shows, but still she revealed little about her self, and all I focused on was that she was one step away from being so annoyingly frustrated with me, that she had to kick me out.
She told me over and over she wouldn't "fire" me, but my fears never lessened. I think part of it was we just didn't mesh very well, and another part was her silence. She started every session in silence, waiting for me to bring up a topic, and i HATED it. My mind emptied and I was always so nervous, it was torture. She knew I didn't like it, but never really changed her ways about it. I finally got sick of feeling so stuck, that I quit.
I took a year off from therapy, and now am in therapy with a T who is vastly different from my old T. She is a bit younger, so maybe that helps (?--not sure), but she is so open about her life and she talks WAY more than my othe rT. She isn't afraid to ask me questions to get the ball rolling. I instantly felt way better about her, and my anxiety after 6 months is very low, much lower than after 5 years with my other T!
|
I think we had that same therapist! I didn't last as long as you did. I remember calling people on the way to give me ideas of stuff to talk about because I felt so awkward sitting there. Him, silence, holding a clipboard, writing who knows what.
It took me some time to get back into therapy but I told the lady I have now what I didn't like about therapy; I do better having a conversational dialogue and no writing. I generally work against her keeping her other stuff out of the room. She talks about clients (no identifying HIPAA violations), comparatively with me, I remind her of the subjectivity of experience. But other than that she's a nice lady and easy to talk to for the most part.