Yes, I was saying both my dad and my aunt had/have BP. I think their aunt did as well, and potentially their father (my grandfather), but I don't know for sure. I was trying to convey that even though we all had/have BP, none of our symptoms really present the same way. BP doesn't look the same from one person to the next, even within the same family.

I regret mentioning it to my sibling for a couple of reasons. One, because I'm a VERY private person, and just mentioning it left me feeling extremely vulnerable. Two, because after I mentioned it, there has been absolute radio silence on the topic since - not even an acknowledgement. A by-product of having had the conversation via email, perhaps, but now I perseverate on how it was received, whether this sibling told our other sibling (they're very close), whether they associate me now with our aunt or great-aunt who are pretty unstable, whether they'll dismiss things I say/do now as just a part of the illness, etc. I come from a family that is pretty focused on success, and I know at least the sibling that I did not tell believes (or at one point believed) that mental illness is simply a matter of will, of mind over matter. Your comment about people thinking it's all in your head really struck home with me. Someone on here had a signature once that said, "I know it's all in my head...THAT'S THE PROBLEM!!!"

I think my husband might be more supportive because he has never experienced anything like depression, and he lived through a few bouts of it with me that took up over 6-7 years of our early marriage. I found a great description of it on the blog Hyperbole & A Half that did a pretty good job of describing what it's like. Once he read that, he understood the depression more.

As to the medication issue, I take some supplements that have really helped me to even out the ups and downs. They seem to cycle a little more frequently now, but they're not as low for as long (nor as high for as long). It doesn't feel stable - I still distrust how I'm going to feel an hour from now or tomorrow, but a lot of my symptoms present just in the physical sense now (anxiety, particularly), without the mental crap that typically goes along with it. It's not a perfect solution, and I still get all my symptoms, but they're better than they were, I don't need a prescription, and I'm not worried about what I'm putting into my body. I don't know if this will always work for me, but for now I'm hanging in there.