Agreed......we form our identity by OUR OWN VALUES, our own interests, & our own talents, our likes & dislikes. An identity based on anything else WILL FAIL.

I thought I had my own identity but I went from living at home with my parents even in college, then went from that to being in college & being married for 33 years. It was when I finally left that bad marriage that I was able to stand in my own house & realize WHO I REALLY AM......alone, by myself....what I like, what I don't like, what I enjoy doing, what I want to do & what I don't want to do. From there I developed friendships based on my own interests & they are solid because they are based around ME, not ME trying to be something else to please someone else. I have friends that are on more of an acquaintance level because I have less in common with them than others....there are many different levels when it comes to friendships....they are not all created equal.....& that's OK.

You need to figure out who you are. Obviously if you are doing something obnoxious that makes people not want to be around you then that's something you need to figure out but basically, you will NEVER be friends with people you have no likes in common with or those who truly have nothing in common with you other than working at the same place......that doesn't create a commonality that truly bonds people together because people leave work places & go to new ones. Interests & personal values & beliefs are what bond people together in friendships & when someone doesn't have those aspects of themselves developed....people really don't know who you are to know if they want to be friends or not.