Aside from therapy there is medication. ONe should always give a chance to pills, there is nothing to loose
Therapy is fundamental... you said "I start AGAIN tomorrow" so I think you tried it in the past... Well, every start is a NEW start, OK?

Uh, here is one practical advice: I HATE the word SORRY. We depressed really abuse it. In this case you should not be sorry. A long post is legitimate, and yours isn't even long at all...

The best of luck