I can relate. I'm too often just sitting around being tormented by my own thoughts. Head feels pressure, too much noise, I don't even know what I'm thinking, I get really irritable & everything grates on me, I either can't stand people or I use them as an outlet for all the crazy in my head & end up saying horrible things. Like I want my boss (or whoever I feel may be contributing to how I feel) to suffer how I do, I say awful awful things like I want to hurt their children just so they can suffer on my level. I would never do this, I doubt it's even in me, I cry when I imagine an animal suffering. Anyway, I just get into this agitated state where I don't know what to do with myself all the time, Im intensely bored but can't ease the feeling. I pace, I have heard voices in this state & I have really strong urges to hurt myself. I feek like I just repeat the words I want to hurt myself over & over in my head. I don't know why I want to hurt myself or what it will achieve I just want to. The thoughts are intrusive. I've only ever made superficial cuts though.

No one totally gets it when I describe it except my old pdoc. He just calls it dysphoria. Dysphoria can F off!