The only person I ever had any kind of comfortable relationship with is my mother - and by "comfortable relationship" I mean I have few inhibitions in what I say. The thing is, how much I actually care about her has...waned, over the years. That sounds horrible. But to me it felt like a defensive thing: her own mood swings, annual threats to commit suicide, and general emotional unpredictability (at least to me) scared me enough I guess I just detached. It's easier to just shut down (mostly) my capacity to be hurt be her, though I'm easily "hurt" by anyone else and often things unrelated to me. I also find I like her less as a person as I mature myself.

I was much more attached to my father, but I was too young when he died to have had any kind of mature, emotional relationship there.

Family has never been a big part of my life - I have very few relatives and we almost never see each other. No, I don't care for them much. Why should I? They may as well be on another planet.

Interesting a couple people now think I sound borderline. When I look over the symptoms, some are painfully familiar, others are practically the opposite of me. I'm not intense at all, or necessarily reckless. I can't say I have unstable relationships because I generally don't have relationships. I'm more likely to be overinhibited (esp. in interpersonal interaction) than openly unstable.

If there is something wrong my personality, it might be NOS.