Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats
I don't think a person necessarily needs to be concerned just because their T is. My T has been concerned about me before at times when I wasn't. I think part of this can be because a therapist doesn't know what you're thinking, and doesn't know for sure that a person is safe. But the person does know how they feel and what they would do, so they would know whether or not they will be safe, even though the T can't know this for sure.
|
This is a very good point! I suppose it's sort of obvious that a T could hardly be expected to have the 'total picture' of a situation from 50 minutes a week (or month!) One would hope they'd at least get a representative sample, but I suppose that can't always be expected to happen. Thanks for this!
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I cannot imagine me caring if the therapist was concerned or not concerned. I would hope she could refrain from telling me about either.
|
Thanks for this, SD! Would you be terribly offended if I told you I sometimes read your posts in my 'Professor Snape' voice? Not that I think you spend your evenings dressing up in funny clothes and making nefarious dealings to honor the decades-old memory of a teenage girl who didn't love you back...It's more a word choice thing. Anyway, thanks for this!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Out There
I tend to agree with this. What bothers and concerns one person does not necessarily apply to another. I would discuss it with my T if this happened. I have to say I don't always think my T sees a cigar as just a cigar.  . We don't always agree. But that's fun. |
I appreciate your reply! It's all very hum-drum, I suppose, and not objectively surprising...I'm just not used to disagreeing with my T and feel a little put-out about the whole thing. I'm sure we'll talk about it if it's still an issue in a couple weeks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eden1515
my psychologist and psychiatrist keep telling me they are "concerned" about me i am not so much but i think perhaps that is because i place no value on my supposed existence. they say they do but i still dont understand why. then they say i just have to trust them then i think they are lying to try and make me feel better i still dont believe i am of any importance to anyone.
|
Oh, Eden, I'm sorry you don't think you're important. I hope someday you do; it's quite a wonderful feeling, actually. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think your pdoc/tdoc are lying. I think Focus62 has hit the nail on the head here: sometimes T's value us more than we value ourselves, and are trying to show us we're important with their concern. Be safe!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elkino
This did happen to me. I was looking for a medical treatment while being in a lot of pain and didn't seem to find any help. My T almost started crying while telling me how concerned she was, while (for once) I was still having hope and didn't care too much. Which of course doesn't mean her being concerned wasn't valid. I guess it was.
|
Excellent point! A concern can be valid even if we don't share it...But does that mean our lack of concern is therefore
invalid? A question for the ages. I', sorry your T had that response while you still had hope. I think I'd find myself pretty distressed in that situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Focus62
My new T has told me she is concerned/worried that I am having nightmares nearly every night. I am unconcerned because this just seems like a normal part of life for me now... I'm not quite sure why she is so worried about it. I think maybe she thinks the nightmares will push me closer to the edge? Maybe once she gets to know me better she won't be so concerned, but I think eden is also on to something... a lot of times people are in therapy because they don't value themselves as highly as they should. Good Ts usually try to build us up a bit and help us to see our value, which is perhaps why they express so much concern for our well-being and why we don't always understand it.
|
I think Eden is on to something, too. I think I've experienced concern of this particular variety, (around issues of suicide/SI) and it did help me see that I was maybe not giving myself the value and credit I deserved. The current situation is rather the
opposite, and I think that's why I'm so miffed by it...I'm in a good mood. T usually responds very well to my good moods. They put
him in a good mood. And then we laugh and get nothing done. That's how it's supposed to work. Having him be concerned and start talking about meds and routine and blah blah boring felt rather like a rain on my parade.
Sorry, got off topic. Nightmares SUCK! I admire you for accepting them as part of your life. If I can offer some unsolicited advice, I've found weed brownies an effective sleep aid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Me too. When I got sick last year they were both more concerned than I was, probably because I was in obvious pain and it must have looked worse than it was.
Sometimes they're less concerned than I am, like I thought my number of nightmares was high but they seemed uninterested.
|
Well that's aggravating. Having T express a concern you don't share might be irritating or perplexing, but having them NOT share a concern you have feels pretty invalidating. Sorry ya'll don't always see eye-to-eye.
But then, who does?
Thanks, all!