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Originally Posted by polyonymous
Hello  I came here to get your opinion on an issue thats been plaguing me for as long as I can remember.
So there's the general feeling of detachment, sort of like I'm sitting back and observing this other person live, and life as I've come to know it. I don't know why I've encased their body, and have been sent to witness them on the planet earth, as A creature from another , universe, plane of existence, realm, etc. . The body I live with has become familiar, but I still know it's not mine.
I'm just sitting back in the audience watching the play of life happen before me with all the other actors, including the person who's meant to represent me. Except it's not really me, just the shell. I, myself am a completely different entity.
I think it's very crucial to note that I've already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1. I've come a long way from where I've started and I think I found my right cocktail of medication. From time to time I've brought up with my psychiatrist and Therapist, both telling me to go talk to one another, but I finally let it all go and I've managed to make sure they confer with each other. I want to know what you all think. People I've tried to discuss this with tend to not take me seriously and tell me you're not special, it happens to everybody, etc. Its so depressing and scary. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this and certainly can't help how I feel and that it bothers me this much. If I come off as whiny to the people who really do suffer with this issue, I'm very sorry 
Am I being too sensitive and wasting my doctors' time? and should call it all off? |
Hey hon, thanks for posting on here. That's a very descriptive way to describe your experiences. I do understand the inability to "clinically" describe what you are experiencing if that's what you are doing, metaphorically. Describing your reality like "sent from another planet" puts a whole new spin on it. We only use words and descriptors as we know them to do our best to describe our experiences. Now if it's a literal thing being an alien sent to observe, then that would definetly be along the lines of psychosis, not diagnosing, just saying.
I myself do also feel like that- where reality melts into what I call another universe or a bubble that all is unreal but yet familiar. Like an object is the object, but not based on our physical laws of existence. I can sit on my bed, in my room, like I've always done for years living there, and all my possessions feel like it doesn't belong to me, like it's not my room. I know it does, but it doesn't- very weird. I usually just sit there until I get bored or a little freak to start grounding myself through distraction and it fades away. Deep breath and back to reality. Actually, it's like I stay in a constant state of this, it's just sometimes it peaks and ?I notice it.
Under extreme stress, I can be looking at myself from the side watching the body freak out with no conscience control from me, it doing its own thing before I snap back at it....I often and am so stressed out wondering why am I like that? What happened? Etc.
And heck no, you are not being too sensitive and wasting your doctors time! He's getting paid by you to listen. If I want to recite "Mary had a little lamb" for an hour, then they get to listen because I paid for it! Lol That's a little extreme and maybe far fetched...but it's true.
This is a concern of yours and obviously is causing you some discomfort that it should be explored. Maybe it's beyond your therapists expertise? Does she have trauma training? Maybe time to find one that does deal with dissociative disorders?
I don't know, but you shouldn't short change yourself because you know your experiences better than anyone else. Anyone dismissing another's experiences tends to upset us, even in life out of the doctors office. Actually, it pisses us off because it's frustrating.
Any how love, I hope that you do what's right for you. Good luck!
