I helped a group of friends figure out a problem. They all lost perspective and let their fears run the show. Now I have to do the same for me. I have to figure out a way to communicate with my ex, to give him the benefit of the doubt, to ask for what I want, and to be comfortable with my boundaries. I am terrified of his mistress now girlfriend on the other side pushing him to give her more things, of his getting angry and punishing me and forgetting his affection, of his closing off himself to the kids. If I give in to my fears I will be just as crazy and hostile and everyone will suffer. It is hard to reach out to him in his funk and protect myself from him lashing out, from him overstepping my boundaries. I have to grow up. I have enough security to go my own way but it is better to get along with the nut ball I married and had kids with - I am part of this dysfunctional mess and I need to deal with it. If I remember how many fears I have and how I like to pull the covers over my head then I will be gentler on myself.