I dated some one in high school who embarrassed me every where we went because he said crude and often very bizarre things. My best friend described an all out panic attack I had while I was with him (and her). It turns out I was the embarrassing one and it never occured to me and he cared for me despite my panic attacks and volatile mood swings.

I have a mentor that I contacted daily (when I was very unwell) with bizarre things. I was so obsessed with her that I told her I could quit contacting her only if "I had my husband hide my laptop" so I could leave her alone.

I told some pretty heinous lies when I was a teenager and manic. It's unbelievable to me now because it was so outside of my character.

I had two one night stands and slept with often 2 people at once. It's a good thing I didn't get pregnant at certain times because I wouldn't have known with certainty the father. SMH!!!

I prayed over people I had never met. I did some dangerous things. Still do when I am manic.

I could go on and on...

I hope you find a t soon. Sometimes it feels impossible to accept the past and move on. I'm so sorry!