Hi everyone, this is my first post here, hope it goes well.
Okay so I've been separated for 5 yrs. It's a very complicated story but I was hurt very badly by my separation. It took me a very long time and I still have a lot of feelings of anger and resentment and hurt. I'm taking depression and anxiety medication and I was going to therapy but am taking a break. I met my boyfriend 6 months ago through mutual friends. He's 12 years older than I but I love him. He completely won me over. I really do love him. But I have to be careful. I have 2 girls ages 11 and 13. They are having a hard time adjusting. My kids and bf have met each other and we have spent time together but my girls are really jealous right now. And when they would rather be somewhere else than with us he gets upset. Not only that but I feel like his family doesn't like me. Every time I'm around they like to talk about his ex wife. From what I know from him and our mutual friends is that she was not a good person at all. They've been married 30years but she's been in and out of the marriage, leaving behind their 2 boys for him to take care of. So I do have a problem with her coming up all the time. I've told him this and he seems un phased by it. I think it's rude and disrespectful to both him and I. I've told him it makes me feel unwelcome and it just really bothers me. I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being immature or if I'm making any sense at all. I don't feel like my feelings are being validated at all. Anyways, this Sunday we were out and I had told him I did not want to go because I already know how it is and he was all upset so I did end going only to have to sit there and listen to his best friend lecture me about his ex and 30years of marriage and I got really upset and ended up leaving. My bf and I got into a big argument and I couldn't stay. Today was the first day we talked and he's really mad that I ended up leaving that day. He said I shouldn't have done that. But I disagree, I am not ok with his friends and family feeling like it's ok for them to do what they do. I don't understand how it's ok to talk about his ex every time I'm there. Why? What good does that serve? I just don't get it. Am I wrong for thinking this way?
We're supposed to talk later today. Please help me understand. I really want to know where he's coming from because right now I just don't get it. I've talked to my friends about it and they agree with me. I love him but if I have to put aside my feelings for him I don't think this is not going to work. I hate having to put my feelings aside. How can we work on this?


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