Sorry, I know it was helping you so much. I've learned though that there is a very fine line between enjoyment and obsession. For most people that isn't an issue, but unfortunately those that have BP have to be careful. It usually means it's attached to a manic episode and we can't see around it. I know you are down right now, especially after reading yesterdays post. This new cycle won't be permanent either. Sometimes knowing what something is, helps.