hey. i guess part of it might be about the therapists theoretic orientation. some varieties of therapy regard themselves as having a 'technology of change' that consists in educating clients about coping strategies... some other varieties of therapy try and focus on the theraputic relationship and they consider that the theraputic relationship (rather than education about coping strategies) is the real mechanism of change. of couse these don't have to be exclusive either / or approaches, but i think it is fair to say that some therapists aren't terribly interested in or focused in on the theraputic relationship.

trust takes time. i try and trust my therapist (believe that he is fundamentally trustworthy) but it is hard cause of my past %#@&#!. hard to believe that he could care about me. he is a bit ambivalent about expressing caring, methinks. i have started up a little about how he doesn't even care a great deal about me etc etc etc and the best he can do is 'looking forward to seeing you in our next session' and 'therapy is funny because our relationship here is unlike any other relationship that you will ever have... i don't talk about my feelings' etc etc etc.

so... combination of theoretical orientation and good therapist client fit and working hard in the face of basic mistrust. hard work yeah.

have you checked out the psychoanalytic societies for a therapist (since you are in california)???