The title of this thread caught my attention.

You really didn't get yourself into this situation. Bad stuff happened to you and it was not your doing. Don't blame yourself, please.

You may need some help to jump start you back on the right track, but it's really not something you should put on your ex (as you know). I get how emotions can make you do and say stuff that you can, even an hour or two later, logically wonder at. I have done it. I am sure everyone else has, too.

Are you still at school? Are you considered enrolled even though have finished your thesis? If so, is there some counselling available to you? I think it is crucial to you to find someone to guide you through this.

I wish I had more words or better words or something more encouraging to say.