I am petrified. Anxiety is sky-high. I feel very depressed. No interest in things anymore. I feel stepped-on; crushed. Can't sleep @ night. Sleeping during day. Hate getting up. Sometimes, I can't get up. Not eating properly. Life is a mess. Wracked w/ terrible guilt & shame. Don't want anything to do w/ this world. I am experiencing another horrible depressive episode. I am falling into the abyss.....I can feel myself fall further & further, gradually, every day, & I try to reach out to stop myself.......but I can't. Please let it not escalate into smthg worse; I can't survive another horrible depression.

To make matters worse, I just found out that my Mom has cancer again. I asked her how I could help & she replied, "Just take care of yourself & stay healthy." I feel terrible saying this, but sometimes I can't even get myself out of bed for her......I want to, but I just can't. I just feel like laying down & dying. It's awful.