Can't sleep. Lots of energy/productivity. Increased sex drive. Racing thoughts. So happy and CREATIVE! You should see the pergola I built today. It's ****ing beautiful.

But how can it be mania if I'm aware of an exaggerated sense of well-being? Isn't the whole point that manic people don't know they're manic? I'm rational. I'm oriented. Is this just what happiness feels like?

T told me to call for ANY reason. I almost did this morning--but why? It's not like I want to be less happy, and, anyway, if you're calling to ask about your mood, doesn't that mean you have insight? And insight means you're not crazy?

He'll probably just tell me to go to my doctor. And we know how that goes--"Well your problem is probably that you smoke and drink and haven't had your pap-smear. So why don't you put on this paper gown and I'll have a look at your hoo-ha while lecturing you about your poor choices in life."

Yes! Fantastic! Let's do that!

No, let's not.

ahhhh