Focus62.... I just found your post and SOOOO absolutely understand avast you are saying. I feel the exact same way. I am terrified of 'talking' about the things that happened, but honestly, I want to so badly. It is just like you said, it is already a shameful secret to me and all these methods of going around the edges just make it feel when more horrible because it is like I have to keep carrying it alone and it is so bad that nor even my t can handle it. I have also read on exposure and feel it would 'force' me to finally let somebody else carry part of this load and might bring relief.

I keep hoping my t will say that is what we have to do because I can't ask for it myself but sure feel everything you said. I hope you are able to have a great end result. I know the road on exposure would be super hard and I hope you have a good t to help you through it and find peace at the end.

Please keep me updated on how it goes for you as, from what I got from your post, I sure understand what you are saying.