Freewill, I hear your words and my sympathy is with you. I can hear what a hard time you are having.

As with far too many of us, I have spent days under the cover in bed...literally, especially in the winter...the "why bother" mode.

I have also been there, done that...attempted suicide in 1985...and I am here to say I am GLAD I was unsuccessful.
<ul type="square">[*]What would have happened to my children.[*]What guilt would the people whose lives I move through life with have suffered; e.g. I should have seen it coming![/list]So, many thoughts in hind-sight!!

You are important to yourself first, and you are more important to the people whose lives you move through than you can even begin to imagine; e.g. this board. I see the number of posts you have written, and I imagine that some of them have been in support of folks who frequent this board.

I live an isolated life right now. I am not allowed to drive for medical reasons. I have a neuro-degenerative disease. Most days my phone only rings for bill collectors, or not at all. I have only three close aquaintances right now, as well as some online friends...more than any other time in my life. My snail mail mailbox typically has nothing in it; e.g. today and yesterday.

Weeks like this one are very hard for me due to my isolation. I am home all day today, tomorrow and Thursday. NOT a good thing for me. I have to arrange transportation with the County I live in when I want to go somewhere and if I forget to call before noon the day before, forget the ride.

I do hear you!!