I recently went through a huge change in my life too, not quite as intense as yours...but my depression and anxiety helped to end the most caring, loving relationship I had ever been in. I moved to AZ to be with her and everything was amazing for 3 months. I had a really bad couple days with a depressive episode and she just couldn't handle it (which I totally understand). I got kicked out, had to quit my job because of no other place to live, and had to return home to NH and now I'm just beginning to try to lift myself back up. I guess all I'm saying is, I can relate in a way. It's hard for me not to call her still, but it is better with distance for both of us, and I guess still being in love with her...I want the best for her. Being depressed and alone is not easy, I understand very well.
Finding a counselor is really tough, especially with no income...but maybe it will help if you can talk to someone professionally. I really hope things do improve for you. It is a tough spot that you're in...I'm sending well-wishes your way and hoping you can find the help you need.
Wish I could say more to help! Take care of yourself!