I often worry when I talk about these kinds of things that I'm exaggerating or making myself a victim. Because it wasn't always bad. It's not always bad now. It just fluctuates a lot. Sometimes my mom hates my guts and wants me to die, other times she'll be literally crying because she misses me or is so worried about me...no, I don't trust that.

What I was mostly getting out is how insults from her now just register to me as "Oh shut up already...".

Do about it? I keep thinking a lack of contact. Separate enough that she doesn't need to call me except a couple times a year for legal things (I'm still on her health insurance and have to be, legally, until I'm 26). It's been getting better, however gradually; though, interacting with her is always a chore. I have to throw a tantrum to get the change to finish a sentence. I'm not really sure what else can be done about it besides separation.