hey September my heart is breaking for all of you, kids and all. Your son has issues but the letter his dad wrote is alienating. I do not know what I would do if I had children who abused their kids. I imagine I would be a loud mouth get in your face keep the kids safe person. But, I am a child of parents who feel I am the worst thing to walk the earth and that doesn't feel good. Nothing I could do was good enough for them. I say this only so you know from a mom's perspective and a child's. Also, we have been in the unfortunate situation of having to accept money from spouse's parents. It is unspoken, we can't pay them with money but would do anything in the world for them. It stinks to need to be bailed out when you are a grown up with big kids etc. But if you or anyone else asked me for something I would do my best to do it because I want to help. I hope this makes sense. Your son is in a stuck place. It is terrible to be stuck between a wife and mother. I have watched my brothers go through that. No easy answers my friend, wish my magic wand was working. Love that son, love those babies and most of all try to love the DIL unconditionally without expectations from the purest place in your heart. It is hard but if you can do it everyone will take a step toward healing.